to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Found the puke drawer
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
