My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
