I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
MIDGETS
????
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
