I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
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