I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
