is wine microwaveable?
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize
