Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
