marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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