I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
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I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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