Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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