Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize