I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
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