But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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