I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
