Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
