chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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