Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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