If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just want nice things and good sex
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
