It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
