I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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