is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize