I want to make a zoo with you.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize