if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
