hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Randomize
