I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Randomize
