Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
