Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
If I die, sorry about rent.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
