is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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