we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
