I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
We have so much sex to catch up on
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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