i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize