Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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