shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
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