Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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