Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
and you fell through a lawn chair
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
