Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
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That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
as a side note pls kill me
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