Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
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That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
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I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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