It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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