Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
