i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
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