I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
