It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
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