I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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