very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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