That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
