i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
