Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
