We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
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