who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
