you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
