Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Randomize
