I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
