he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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