so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
