Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize