Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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