She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
