There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize