if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
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I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
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Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
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