I'm jealous of your bromance
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
