I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
operation harelip BJ is a go
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
