i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
