nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
