Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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