3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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