Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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