: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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