There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
